i was talking to this kid.
apparently, he has a crush on some girl.
he likes her a lot.
but no matter how much he tries to connect to her,
she’s like, “yeah, okay.”
on the other hand, she talks to other boys in a cutesy/friendly way.
and it bothers him.
he’s very sad.

i asked him how this whole thing makes him feel.
he told me he feels worthless,
that nobody loves him.
(it affirms his past thoughts of himself.)

i asked him, “what would be a potential solution?”
he thought he could love her more.

“okay”, i said.
“so imagine you’re loving her more.
you’re trying to make it more evident that you like her.
you draw her, you sing songs for her, you do everything.
yet she treats you the same way.
or even worse, she might distance herself from you.
now what?”

frown in his face.
he said, “well, i’ll be alone,
i’ll be sad for a long, long time.
and i think i’ll stay that way.”

i asked, “well, it might sound easy,
but living through pain is actually very, very hard, you know.
plus don’t you want to be happy?
what would you do then?”

he answered, “well, then i will talk to my friends.
right now, i have you, i think i can trust you.
and this priest, he treats me very nicely, he makes me happy.
he is a good person.
i’ll talk to you guys, and you’ll make me happy.”

i said, “well, sounds good.
but what if, just what if, the priest gets a transfer to this new parish,
and whenever you try to call him, he’s very busy,
and you can’t blame him for not giving you time, because he’s very very busy.
and i die. uh, so, you can’t talk to me anymore.
so yeah, you lost your friends: the priest and i.
you have no one to talk to.
what would you do now?”

he became even sadder, as he imagined the plight.
“well, i’ll sit at the church all day.
i’ll pray to God.”

me: “what are you gonna pray about?”

him: “i’ll pray to God to fix the problems i have and face.”

me: “What if nothing changes?
What if things are the same?
What would you do then?”

him: “I will be pissed off at God.
because He won’t listen to me, or fix my problems.
I will stop going to church.”

me: “well, think from God’s point of view.
God certainly might not make her fall in love with you, because
what if that girl is destined for something else?
And He might not bring the priest back, because
what if the people at the new parish need ?
and He won’t bring me back from the dead,
because what if my time is up?
Are you sure God will do it, even if he can do all these things?”

he’s like “uhmm… yeah”.

“and let’s go back to the start.
her treating you the way she does
makes you feel more and more worthless, you say.
you think all your problems will be solved
and you’ll have peace
once she starts loving you?
no, brother, that’s not how any of this works.”

“thinking that a girl is the solution to all your problems is rookie thinking.
i did that. multiple times. it never works.
you solve your problems.
but for that, you have to look into yourself,
love yourself, create a sense of peace within yourself.
no amount of possessions, bikes, cars, money, girls, muscles
would make you feel content and happy.
it’s all in your mind.”

i don’t think he understood anything,
but he will, eventually.
and it’s not like i have figured everything out or whatever.
i’m still learning.