Back in 2023 or something, I remember reading David Goggins’ “Can’t Hurt Me” and feeling all fired up. I started running in the morning, pushing myself harder than usual and all that. But in the back of my mind, I was dubious: “Isn’t he a bit too off the top?”

But then I hit a wall, and I told myself: “What a sad man he is. He is not happy. Look at his marriage. Look at his everything. He doesn’t even smile. He hasn’t gotten over the trauma yet.” And just like that, I discarded him.

But after years, I think he’s right.

Back then, I was into this new-age self-help positivity BS that I really let myself be convinced that I can think my way out of my problems, without moving a finger. I mean, I shouldn’t be an ungrateful bitch: Yes, the IFS era of mine definitely helped me a lot. Until then, I blamed everybody else: the church, the college, the system, other people. I looked into everyone else but me. Everybody else was wrong, but I was always right.

But after being introduced to IFS, I understood I had some faults, and for the first time in my life, I learnt not to be a victim, and started taking accountability for my own actions.

But later I realized I let it imprison me. I found too much comfort in over-analyzing my problems and my past. I intellectualized my emotions, getting caught inside a puzzle of “parts” triggering each other. The more I wanted to break free, the more I became immobilized by my own thoughts.

I tried to therapy my way out of feeling bad, out of fear of facing things and doing the things I should be doing. And I hid behind a smug face pretending to be intelligent. I unknowingly started doing what I used to do: judge and blame others. But this time, it felt different: it had a pretext of intelligence.

I was chasing frameworks in the hopes that it would ease my pain: IFS, CBT, this, that. I looked into all sorts of fads too. I just wanted to not feel fear. I thought I could stop feeling fear just by turning some mental switch on.

But to get out there in the real world, it’s hard. I realized I was villainizing fear. I learnt to embrace the fear and work alongside it, proving myself I can do things. I had to shed my old ego, unlearn everything I just learnt and start from zero.

And that was how I decided to give the Goggins mindset another shot.

Goggins never says to not care about emotions, but he stresses on action. Taking action to face your fears, even if it feels scary. Taking action to do what is necessary, even if your mind makes up excuses. And that has helped me immensely.

I have heard of Goggins making an audio compilation of all the mean tweets that were directed at him, and then listening to it while running. At the time, I thought this was some extreme crazy shit, but now I kinda get it.

I learnt from my own experience that most people do not have the best intentions for you in their heart. Most people are drowning in their own misery, and they know what they have to do, but instead they choose to be the victim, make excuses and stuff. And when some people try to be the best version of themselves, they can’t take it - they’re forced to look into their own mediocrity, and they think they can never be like them. Therefore, they feel envious, and they resort to pulling the other person down.

How do I know this? I was this person. Well, I never tried to pull anyone down, but I felt a kind of sad envy: “Why is it not me? It should have been me. Why can’t I get there? Life is unfair to me.”

But I don’t feel so anymore.
I believe if they can do it, I also can do it.

Most people call you crazy at first, then they try to wear you down, make you feel like shit, mock you and then they either give up, or they start admiring you. In a perfect world where everyone tries to be the best version of themselves, we all would have helped each other out. But ours is imperfect. So this is how things will be. But then, you can’t make everyone like you. You have to find your tribe.

I know I have kind of drifted away and ended up somewhere else, but my point stays: David Goggins is right, and he will always have my respect and admiration. For he proved that a person like him, abused as a child, had all these illnesses, could rise up and achieve all these that he did. If he can, then why the fuck can’t I?